3 Ways To Lead Your Pastor's Kids Toward Jesus

Courtesy of unsplash.com

Courtesy of unsplash.com

I posted last week on 3 lessons my kids have taught me about leadership. And on the heels of Father’s Day, I’m still mindful of my kids and the fact that they are “PK’s”! This is still crazy to me. I never thought my kids would be Pastor’s Kids. I have 3 kids, ages 8, 6 and 4. All they've known is church planting and full-time ministry.

There are a lot of incredible things that come with this. For instance, if the saying “It takes a village…” is true - well, I have one!

And at the same time, there are things that come with being a Pastor’s Kid that we must be aware of. Here are 3 ways to lead your Pastor’s Kids toward Jesus. 

1. Know There Is A Glass House & You Live In It

You may say it’s unfair and you didn’t ask for it, but here’s the reality: people are watching. And not just the people within your church. People are watching and they are watching your kids.

Where this turns ugly is when a child grows up feeling the weight of expectation, mostly unspoken expectation, from their church and eventually crumbles. What’s the answer to this?? Drumroll…Jesus!

@@Lead your kids to serve the Church but to fall in love with Jesus.@@ Even the Church, and even your church will let your kids down because the church is made of imperfect people like you and I. But you know that Jesus never will.

With wisdom, invite your kids into the reality that people are watching. In doing so, eliminate all fear from the get-go and remind them that being a PK is an opportunity to steward, rather than an expectation to meet.

2. Give Your Kids (Appropriate) Access To Your Ministry

Ministry comes home with you - it’s unavoidable. And when your spouse is on staff with you, it comes home even more. Why? Because our ministry is so intertwined with our life. We rejoice when people take steps with and toward Jesus. Our hearts break when people turn away. We celebrate in the wins of ministry, and we feel the losses deeply.

Here’s what I’ve come to believe: The why behind our feelings isn’t important, but sharing what we are feeling is. For instance, if you are pastoring a couple through a difficult season of marriage, your kids don’t need to know who’s involved and what’s going on but would benefit greatly from knowing what you are feeling. 

This is a proactive step because (at least my) kids don’t ask you how you’re feeling that often. And so, it’s simply saying: “Kiddo, dad is a little sad today. Friends at church are going through a difficult time and they need Jesus to help.” Follow up with a, “You know what would cheer me up?!?!” and spend some intentional energy investing in your child. 

@@Your kids don’t need you to be invincible. They need you to be vulnerable.@@ 

3. Remember They Have Dreams Too

If you’re like me, you have big, God-sized dreams for your church. And I think this is great. As vision-casters, we are consistently inviting more and more people into God’s vision for our church - and we should. We should invite our kids too. 

While the apple doesn’t usually fall far from the tree, it still falls from the tree. And when it does, it lands somewhere, and a God-Dream is birthed in them. Sometimes that dream grows under the shadow cast by your dream and the vision of your church - and that’s great. And sometimes it is fostered outside the scope and realm of your dream and your church - and this is great too.

My kids are still young, but as they grow to find their way, it will be essential for me to model what it looks like to steward a God-given vision without diminishing what God is longing to birth in them. Become the #1 fan of what God is doing in your kid’s life….

Chances are, @@the greatest work God will do in your life is leading your kids to love Jesus (even more than your church).@@

What are you doing to lead your kids to Jesus?